| so bored. so bored. |
[Tuesday
August 15th, 9:22am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
noneeeee. |
] |
im at work and WICKED bored!!!!!
anyone out there?
any new exciting news!?..
help :(
|
|
| c r a s h into me |
[Saturday
December 10th, 3:03am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 peaceful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nunca. |
] |
all i have to say is
9 hours of driving in the blizzard to the case play.
worth it
HELL YES
ive missed swansea so much.
so many of us have lost touch, and we need to reconnect.
oh-and i didnt sleep last night, as in thursday..and its 3am.
and i got like 5 hours of sleep between tuesday and wed..
time for some SLEEEEEEEP.
a day full of SWANSEA tomorrow.
so GOOD to be home. even if it is just for a weekend.
<33
|
|
| with this i give you my heart..on a platter. |
[Monday
November 14th, 10:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
i feel..
fat
ugly
mentally exhausted
physically exhausted
depressed
lonely
angry
upset
frustrated
i want to jump out of my skin
i want to home
but i dont
because i will be dissapointed when i go home
and that sucks
so its like..
a lose lose situation
i just want to tear my eyes out.
|
|
| sometimes life isn't black and white. |
[Monday
November 7th, 6:40pm] |
|
i feel the need to say this..
first of let me tell all of you, how shocked i was to hear the news of officer bob's death. it just shook me right down to the bone. its not fair. its not fair that someone that had done so much in the community would have this fate. and its not fair that he died from some he preached to us in every way he could. its also ironic that he was on his way to cathay pearl to see if any of the fire fighters were too drunk to drive.
this is what happened..
station 3's turkey raffle was friday night. where the men began to drink. then the cheif's band was playing at cathay pearl so some (i dont know if all went) of the fire fighters went to support the cheif and have a good night. one of the fire fighters made the wrong decision of thinking he was ok to drive home..meanwhile officer bob was on his way there to see if anyone couldn't drive and to give rides home. now the double yellow lines were crossed by this firefighter and he hit officer bob's cruiser head on. both had to be extracted from their cars.
now..
obviously this situation is terrible enough. but just for a second..put yourself in the driver's seat. yes he obviously made a terrible choice to drive drunk. and he probably regrets that with all he has, and wishes it was him that got killed..the driver was good friends with officer bob. good friends. can you imagine killing one of your good friends because of a split second stupid decision that you'd regret with everything you had. this firefighter is a good man, with a good heart. he is also a husband, a father, and a grandfather. yes. he is at fault. yes he is responsible. yes he needs to accept his fate and the consequences that will come to him, because he does deserve everything that he gets. it was his decision. his wrong decision. but just for a second..take the time and think..how he must be feeling.
let me make it clear..
that i am not saying what he did was right. or saying that i am incredibly shocked, and sadened over officer bob's death. because it broke my heart. it really did. but in my eyes, you need to look at both sides. and put yourself in other people's shoes is all.
maybe you all don't agree with me..but i felt the need to get that off my chest. because as wrong as he was..i also feel for him. this man is in no way a cold blooded murderer..
it just makes you wonder why shit like this happens....
that is all.
please comment if you feel compelled.
|
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| i'm here without you baby.. |
[Tuesday
November 1st, 12:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
teevs. |
] |
let me just say,
that long distance relationships suck.
its like holey traumatic experience everytime i leave.
:-/
four days.
yes we've been apart just about 3 hours, and i'm already counting down the days.
i am pathetic i know..
note to self::
do not enter a chewing contest with a gorilla..you will lose.
how insightful anatomy is.
hah. yes.
|
|
| just walk away. |
[Sunday
October 16th, 8:53pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
teevs n hw |
] |
errrrrrrrrr.
fuck you.
i cant take it
;lkfa;fkw[fodlfmawlkfvjpw;lsfdkmlksndvx
thats what i feel like inside.
|
|
| rain go away. |
[Saturday
October 15th, 7:31pm] |
you all need to check out my newww journal.
its amazing.
alll thanks to kris.
i love you.
im going to marrrry you..
:D
|
|
| wasting my time.. |
[Saturday
October 1st, 7:31pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
bouncy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none |
] |
26 questions that no one would ever think to ask. (obviously someone thought of them) Answer them, then REPOST the bulletin:
1. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? depends.
2. How much cash do you have on you? $0 ..haha
3. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? nest
4. Favorite flower? sunflowers and daisys
5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone? austin.
6. What is your main ring tone on your phone? some rockin' symphony my phone came with..
7. What shirt are you wearing? a navy blue fleece thing.
8. Do you "label" yourself? i dont think so..do i?
9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing. bare feet
10. Bright or Dark Room? candle lit
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you? umm kris..yeah.WICKED.loser. haha. JK!
12. Ever "spilled the beans"? im sure
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleeping
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say? "drinking" lol
15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? no. i hate them
16. What's a saying that you say a lot? dude
17. Who told you they loved you last? my mom probably
18. Last furry thing you touched? my doggie
19. How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days? none..well besides nyquill
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none
21. Favorite age you have been so far? i'd say..16
22. Your worst enemy? food.
23 What is your current desktop picture? a picture i took of the waves breaking at fortunes beach
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? 'i have to take a shower. after that'
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? change a major regret..
26. Do you love/ like someone?..indeeeed i do ;D
|
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| maybe someday..somewhere called perfect. |
[Thursday
August 25th, 3:44pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
teevs. |
] |
im pretty much burying everything.
which i know is so very wrong.
im afraid of my journal.
im afraid to be honest with myself.
to actually see how..much of a mess i really am.
im so scared.
i dont want to face reality.
i want to live in a fantasy world forever.
its not going to happen.
so many things i need to say.
i wish i could say.
but i cant.
all of sudden everything was intensified.
by like 100.
::sigh::
the end.
get off here..
|
|
| fuckin' and fightin' its all the same.. |
[Tuesday
August 9th, 12:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nunca. |
] |
im a bit ... confused.
a bit of information seemed to have "leaked out" shall we say.
certain things that arent particularly true..some that are.
if you have twisted something i have said..or even just passed along something i have said to known *someone*. well then thats not cool man.
i mean i am not a very trusting person..and i have my reasons.
but now i dont even know who the person is that is apparently hearing me say things about someone and then telling them what im saying..
if you are that person. well i am sorry for you. because you have betrayed my trust. and twisted my words around to make me come off like a terrible bitch.
so sorry if telling a few of my close friends about my life is broadcasting it.
and .. i do have every damn right in the world to broadcast whatever it is i please because its my life. and if i'm happy about it. then why shouldnt i.
my objectives are never to hurt. ever.
so im sorry to the person who has made me come across this way.
no matter how old we grow. we will forever have backstabbers in our lives.
on a betttter note...
went out with my salmon today.
i love my salmon.
we had a slpendid time.
got her nails done.
SAW MR. GATTERMAN...yes kids THATS RIGHT..highlight of my freakin summer right there!
tye-dyed some shirts. and they are ILLLLLL ;D
went swimming.
it was a good day with my salmon.
but what day isnt good with my salmon!?
hahahahahhh
ok kids. i need to sleep.
the end.
get off here.
peace.n.love
|
|
| its a silent steeple... |
[Thursday
August 4th, 12:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dispatch ((well its stuck in my head)) |
] |
so....
well.
point one-- i didnt think things would be going this well..for a while. and this makes me so happy.
point two-- im getting frustrated. i dont know where the boundries lie..i dont know whats going on. and im giving everything. 110%..as always.
its good to make connections with old friends :D
i hate work. blahhhh.
im tense and stressed.
and im in so much pain sometimes i wish to dieeee. :/
hopefully that'll be cleared up soon..if the world of nature decides to cooperate.
i need to go to bed. since i have to get up at 6am..since i might be working.
i need the money..--but i dont want to work.
the end.
get off here.
peace.n.love
|
|
| bite my lip, close my eyes..take me away to paradise |
[Sunday
July 31st, 6:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
joss stone |
] |
patience is a virtue.
remember that.
things seem to be going better.
i hope they are going in the right direction.
hope im not falling into a great big trap.
but for now...things are going ..well.
patience. something i didnt think i had.
hope.patience.trust.persistance.LOVE.
peace.n.love
|
|
| time to over annalyze... |
[Sunday
July 17th, 12:17am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nunca. |
] |
breakthrough??
or just simply alcohol.
i'm never going to sleep now.
lovely.
........but perhaps worth it.
;)
ps. MY HOUSE THIS FRIDAY .. FIIIIIREEEEE!!
please come!
* leave me a comment if you plan on it! :D
|
|
| bored much..? |
[Friday
July 8th, 6:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
dispatch-whirlwind |
] |
LAST PERSON WHO...
x. Slept in your bed: Me
x. Saw you cry: umm probably jenn.
x. Made you cry: my own stupidity.
x. You shared a drink with: jenn
x. You went to the movies with: salmon liam and dj
x. You went to the mall with: my mom and aunt
x. Yelled at you: i cant remember..
x. Sent you an e-mail: hum a real one?...i dont know
HAVE YOU EVER...
x. Said "I love you" and meant it?: absolutly.
x. Gotten in a fight with your pet?: we wrestle yess!
x. Been to California: no..:/
x. Been to Hawaii: no... but i'd love to!
x. Been to Mexico: nope.
x. Been to China: no..but i love to travel.
x. Been to Canada: no..i know i'm lame..SOON i will though.
x. Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: yeah..my first puppy that i got!
x. Wish you were the opposite sex: all the time. i hate being a girl.
x. Had an imaginary friend: hah. yes.
RANDOM TID BITS...
x. Do you have a crush on someone: i dont know if you'd really consider it a crush..
x. What book are you reading now: dream country.
x. Future son's name: Jackson, Caleb, Elijah, Aiden..i'm sure i could think of more options.
x. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: just my tiger..
x. What's under your bed: old journals. pictures and such.
x. Favorite sports to watch: baseball.
x. Siblings: 1 brother. liam...and then of course there is my 'big brother' winston! :D
x. Location: Swan-see-ah as my lovely friends call it.
x. College plans: UNE..cant wait to get back.
x. Piercings/tattoos: 9 piercings..can you guess where ;) haha.
x. Boyfriend/girlfriend: only one i want.
EXTRA STUFF...
x. Do you do drugs: not any more.
x. Who are your best friends: jenn, casey, kelley, katie, kait,annie,nessa, sam, and winston
x. What are you most scared of: losing the best thing that ever happened to me..forever. being alone.heights apparently.oh- and snakes.
x. What clothes do you sleep in: shorts and a tshirt.
x. Where do you want to get married: on the beach at sunset. or in ireland.
x. Who do you really hate: ...hahaha. no comment.
x. Do you drive: yes..95 plymouth neon.
x. Do you have a job: hell yes..cards plus and charlton memorial hospital.
x. Do you like being around people: absolutly.
x. Are you for world peace: absolutly. love.peace.and harmony..hippie much? haha.
STUFF...
x. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: in some sense. but someday i've got my heart set on.
x. Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: yes.
x. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: not really. just a sense of humor really.
x. Want someone you don't have right now: more than anything in the world.
x. Are you lonely right now: there is part of me missing.
x. Song thats stuck in your head a lot: "bitches aint shit" ben folds.
x. Do you want to get married: yes.
x. Do you want kids: 3 or 4
FAVORITE...
x. Room in house: i dont know. i guess mine.
x. Type(s) of music: i dont really know how to classify it.
x. Band(s): ben folds, dispatch,oar,ben harper,dmb,bob marley.
x. Color: green,brown,orange
x. Perfume or cologne: for a guy? hands down abercrombie and fitch. for me? ralph.
x. Month: december or maybe may.
x. Stone:
IN THE LAST 72 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
x. Cried: yes.
x. Bought something: i'm sure.
x. Gotten sick: not to the point where i've thrown up.
x. Sang: always.
x. Wanted to tell someone you loved them: every minute of everyday.
x. Met someone new: umm..yes actually!
x. Missed someone: yes
x. Hugged someone: yes
x. Kissed someone: nope :/
the end.....of my bordum for now............peace kids.
|
|
| walk away.. |
[Wednesday
July 6th, 1:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
grey street-dmb |
] |
why does today suck..
i was so happy yesterday.
god damnit.
today sucks.
:/
|
|
| perfect..so flawless..i'm not impressed. |
[Friday
July 1st, 12:23am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
distressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none. |
] |
do you know what it feels like to love someone more than life itself?
the most amazing feeling in the world.
do you know what it feels like to love someone more than life itself, and have them pretend the feeling isn't mutual.
to be shut out. left in the dark.
too look into somoene's eyes and remember the love. but only feel pain.
watching him smile is the best feeling in the world.
i can't even describe the happiness it brings me.
all i want is to be held.
to hold him
'everything will be ok'
i want everything back.
im so stupid.
i hate myself.
more than life.
trust is something so sacred. and now its gone.
because of a split second stupid decision.
i love you more than life.
missing my sunshine more than ever.
the end
get off here.
|
|
| our love was comfortable.. |
[Wednesday
June 29th, 11:24pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
discontent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
john mayer-comfortable.. |
] |
i just remembered that time at the market.
snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart
and rode down aisle 5
you looked behind you and smiled back at me
crashed into a rack full of magazines
they asked us, if we could leave.
can't remember what went wrong last september
though im sure you'd remind me if you had to
our love was..comfortable
and so broken in..
i sleep with this new girl im sitll getting used to
my friends all approve say she's gonna be good for you
they throw me high fives
she says the bible is all that she reads
and prefers that i not use profanity
your mouth was so dirty
life of the party
and she swears that she's artsy
but you could distinguish miles from coldtrain
our love was..comfortable
and so broken in..
she's perfect so flawless
or so they say
she thinks i cant see the smile that she's fakin
while poses for pictures that are being taken
i loved you
grey sweatpants no makeup so perfect
our love was...comfortable
and so broken in..
she's perfect so flawless
i'm not impressed
i want you back
|
|
| when it rains it pours... |
[Tuesday
June 28th, 11:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none. |
] |
life isnt fair.
it just isnt.
i'm heartbroken over this fact.
i knew it was coming..i knew it was enevitable.
i knew it couldnt be stopped.
and tonight it still shocked me to hear.
im so mad, and just beside myself with utter grief i cant even explain it.
its not fair!
why couldnt i be taken instead.
those boys count on her.
how could He take her away.
how.
its not fair.
im so angry.
i dont feel much like being awake right now.
so im done.
the end
get off here.
|
|
| beverly hills........ |
[Monday
June 27th, 11:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
beverly hills-weezer |
] |
as you grow you realize there are VERY few people you can trust.
very few people you can count on.
..so very few.
sad really.
the end.
get off here.
|
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lizziekate5's journal